I Live in a Prison Surrounded by a Moat

I live in a prison surrounded by a moat. It's not so bad. Mom is here, so is Dad, I even have a few aunts, uncles and cousins here. I have a lot of friends and a few enemies living here too. Sometimes I get visitors from the "outside", mostly relatives because I don’t have friends outside of these walls. The relatives out there seem sort of happy. Maybe because they can choose to learn new things, see the world, walk freely, wouldn’t that be nice. They’ve got respectable jobs, too, so I’m a little jealous. Still, it’s good to see a smile and hear a genuine “I love you” without wondering what they want from me. I may not know how to respond, but I still like it.

As I grow into adulthood in this “survival of the fittest” world, I get hard to my outside relatives. I mock them when they leave, even though a small part of me wants to go with them. With no hope of ever getting out, my heart gets hard, and I age 10 years with every birthday. Pretty soon I stop seeing my visitors because they just don’t live in the real world, that being my every day fight to survive. 

As time goes by, I occasionally think of my outside relatives that I cut off so long ago. My pride would never let me accept another visit from them even though they still try. I have to wonder, “Why do they still want to visit me? I’m rude, I have nothing good to tell them, and I complain about being in here.” Why complain? This is home. I don’t know anything about the outside world anyway. Maybe I'm curious to know, but I don't, and even if I did, I'm not leaving so it doesn't matter.

But curiosity got the better of me, and for the first time in my life, I fell asleep wondering what it would be like to live outside of these prison walls.

The next morning things seemed different. I am now wondering how a person would even get out of this place. Not that I would try it, I was just thinking thoughts that I'd never had before. Over breakfast I voice my curiosity to a friend, just to see what they might think. Instead  of “let’s try it and find out…”, I hear:

“…trying to run out on us huh?”

“…you too good for this place?”

I kept those thoughts to myself for a couple of days, but curiosity got the best of me again and now I’m wondering what I would do if I ever did get out.

Days passed and I realized that nothing would change for me unless I get out of here. Then something strange happened, something I’ve never noticed before. As I sized up the wall for a possible escape, I was in total disbelief. The prison wall that has been holding me all these years stood only 3 feet tall! It seemed so much taller as a child. I peered over the wall and saw the moat full of water. It was so clear and the swim across didn't seem far at all. The distance down into the water was just far enough that, if I jumped, I could have no second thoughts of returning. There was no place to swim back to and no place to climb up, not even with help. I knew I could make the swim to shore though. There was nothing dangerous in the water, that I could tell, and the swim wasn’t that far. “Go for it,” I thought to myself.

Just then a voice inside me said, “You’re just going to leave without your family!? What are thinking?"

I have to tell them what I have discovered. All around us would be freedom! So, I gathered them around the wall to point out my observations. I anxiously explain, “We just have to swim across the moat and we’re free from this place forever!” They all look at me a bit puzzled and someone says, “What do we do when we get to the other side?”

Someone else says, “Yeah, and how do we carry all of our stuff across, we’ll drown!”

I look at them dumbfounded, “We leave it here. Let's worry about what to do when we get there. Don’t you see, this is our freedom we’re talking about? A chance to start new.”

One by one they dropped their eyes and turned away. As they walked back to their cells I could hear them grumble, “I ain’t jumping in if I don’t know what’s on the other side."

"I've worked hard for what I have, it may not be much, but it’s mine, and I'm not leaving it.”

I turned to my parents, surely they would come with me. “It sounds real good, honey,” they said, “but let’s face it, good or bad, this is our home.”

With a sad heart, I walked back to the wall, gazed over into the clear blue-green water and sighed. “Maybe they're right,” I thought, “I don’t know what’s over there either. I might leave my stuff, but I don’t want to leave my family.” I stood there feeling torn between family and freedom. “There’s just got to be something better on the other side, there’s got to be.”

A little unsure of what to do next, I backed away from the wall. I don't want to leave them, but I don't want to be here anymore either, and with one swift jump, I was air-born. Right before I plunged into the water, I told myself that it was all or nothing. I’d rather drown in the attempt than to always wonder if I could have been free. It was adrenaline like I had never felt before!

I came to the top and immediately started swimming to the other side of the moat. I was ready to explore this new world. I couldn’t help but be a little sad at letting go of my family and the world I felt most at ease with, but I had to stop thinking about that, I had a future to look forward to. I looked ahead to see how close I was getting to the other side and to my surprise I saw people! Some were relatives that had visited me in prison and some were total strangers. They were coming to help me, and for a second, I wonder if they’d send me back to where I came from. As they pulled me from the water, they wrapped me in a warm robe and started walking me away from the prison. They joined in my journey to a new life. 

It is in this new world, not my old one, that I am walking in reality. Those still in prison are the ones choosing not to participate. They are prisoners of themselves, as I once was a prisoner of myself. I go to visit them just like my "outside" relatives visited me. I face rejection, empty affection, and ridicule but that’s OK, I still love them. On their hearts, I see the same desire for something more that I once had and now I know what they are looking for.

Someday one of them will wonder what’s on the other side of all they've ever known. Their minds will have a spark of curiosity and their hearts will cry out, “Anything has to be better than where I am right now.” Then they too will risk future, family, and even their very life to make the leap to find true freedom. Should they have the courage to ever take that chance, I'll be among those helping them to shore with a warm robe in one hand and a comforting arm in the other.

But they’ll never even wonder if they don’t see that freedom in me, so I keep coming back. Not everyone will choose to leave their prison for a life of freedom, but for as long as I live, I will remind them that the choice is still theirs.

BACK STORY

This story was written on June 18, 2006. I had been a Christian for 11 years. I was trying to put into words what it was like NOT being a Christian and, as best I could describe, what the journey was like to 'the other side.' Now that I'm here, I still have friends and family who are not. The only way I can see reaching them is to go to where they are, time and time again, and love them even when they don't know how to respond to it.

IN CLOSING

If you have friends and family that are lost, and you have the love of the Lord, be generous with it, but don't expect that in return. The lost can't give what they don't have. They see something in you that they want but have no idea how to get it. Pray that He might be merciful toward them by giving them a sober mind and a humble heart, able to receive the truth of Jesus Christ.

-Shauna

Passages that inspired the story:

Phillipians 3:14 – press on toward the goal 

John 10:10 – live life to the full 

1Peter 2:16 – live as free men

Luke 8:16 – be a light 

Phillipians 4:9 – put knowledge into practice 

1Peter 3:17 – suffer for good rather than for evil

Photo Credit: Shutterstock, Fort Jefferson Civil War Fort