I Crushed the Head of a Snake

March 1st of 2020, I started having dreams about snakes. There is some speculation that "snake dreams" are about your mom, but I disagree based on the wild events going on at the time. I'll tell you the two dreams, a short back story, and then I'll tie it all together at the end.

Snake Dream #1: Keith and I were in his mother's yard near an old tractor about 30 feet from the carport. I was standing by the tractor trying to make my way to the carport, but there were snakes coming from everywhere purposely blocking my path. Instead of being afraid of them, I reached down with my pocket knife and cut their heads off. I was quite impressed with my reaction bc even in my dreams, I would react in fear to snakes. At the time of this dream, I believed, that it might have symbolized the battle that I had just fought, and won, with a Tech School, that I will not mention the name of. They were doing some shady stuff and I just happened to be caught in their crossfire.

======•••=== Back story: Since Christmas Break, certain members of the administration had tried to force me to resign. Apparently we were having personality conflict. It went something like this: my personality shot off her mouth and their personality didn't like it. I apologized for loosing my cool, but it didn’t matter, they told me to resign or be terminated. Neither resignation nor termination happened bc what I said wasn’t a terminal offense.

However, all of their policy violations were.

Once I confronted them with the numerous violations, they dropped all of it. Battle won. But it was only January and I was still stuck with a “bunch of snakes” for the rest of the school year.

May 23, 2020 was the last day of school for instructors. Admin made my last day of school absolutely miserable. I was ready for inventory inspection at 8am. They finally came at 3pm and then kept me for AN HOUR, as my inventory was deeply scrutinized for theft. I was "caught stealing" at least 5 items before I produced each item from my storage closet. In their defense, I understood why they would think that I might steal something. They never paid me for substituting, one of the many violations to their policy, so they owed me about $160.00. Theft was tempting, but the Spirit spoke in His familiar still, small voice saying, "nothing is worth becoming less than you were meant to be." I didn't take anything. I even returned the drawing book I brought home at Spring Break. The one that didn't have an accountability tag on it. 😤 Take that you brood of vipers. End of Back story. ======•••=====

That day was a hard one, and that night I had a dream.

Snake Dream #2: My family and I were at the sand dunes. People were everywhere, and the snakes were literally under everyone's feet. I walked with my grandma to the bathroom to make sure she didn't get bit. As I waited for her by the door, there was this tiny, wiry little green snake striking at everyone around it, tying itself in knots and looking all crazy. It bit my ankle a few times. It didn’t hurt except for the needle-sharp teeth - no venom though. Pretty soon it started jumping and attacking people’s faces. I didn’t want it hurting me or my grandma so I stepped on its head. It seems much bigger under my foot. It’s body squirmed around into knots so I dug my heel into its head even more. The more I dug, the bigger it seemed to get until it was a full-sized snake. It would not die. In fact, it fought even harder. I grabbed a cloth handkerchief from my pocket, put it around my hand and grabbed its head from under my foot. It bit into my first finger. I covered it’s head with the handkerchief. It bit into my thumb. Then I gouged my thumb into the back of its neck with it still covered by the handkerchief. I started digging out all the insides of its head with my thumb through the cloth. I saw chunks of snake brains and teeth falling to the floor before I threw it down. Its body squirmed around but it was clearly not going to survive. Grandma was safe, but when I looked at my hand it had started to swell from being bit so many times. It bit hard enough to hurt, but I was fine. 

My take away: On my last day of school, as I turned in my keys and badge, I walked past several members of admin but no one, not even the secretaries, would look my direction. The only one who spoke that day was the maintenance guy, he was always nice. I left sad and extremely relieved. It finally hit me just how hard it was to be there for that whole year. They blatantly lied to make me believe that I would be fired if I didn’t resign, they never offered to pay what they owed, and then they tried to squeeze every creative drop out of me only to throw me away when they were done. That plan didn’t work for them either, though. They took nothing from me that I didn’t willingly give for the sake of helping those kids gain a skill for employment. 

I tried to avoid the conflict and they tried to ruin my career as an instructor. In the end, the only way I could win was to crush their heads open and leave them with nothing to feed on. I walked away yesterday, only looking back to watch them squirm at the fact that I didn’t even steal the smallest item from my room. 

So let us end with the words of my former superior when he mistakenly thought the personality conflict had been resolved between myself and the Director of Student Services, “Shauna, you did nothing unethical, illegal, or immoral. You are good for those kids and you’re the best option for that class. I don’t want you to go unless you just don’t want to be here.” 

Goodbye Mr. Chief Operations Officer. I just don't want to be here anymore. You bit hard enough to hurt, but I’ll be fine. And in case you’re wondering...

You can find your brains and teeth at the sand dunes by the bathroom.

*** let's take a pause ***

This is not a blog about dream interpretation. This is a blog of encouragement, to my brothers and sisters in Christ, based on Romans 8:28 "In all things, God works good of those who love him, who are called to his purposes." So where is the Romans 8:28 ending? Here you go.

1. I only realized that I had taken on a Goliath (a public school system) when their HR got involved and I was not the one in trouble. It took all of my faith in the Lord to stay the course, but in being steady for what was right, I developed the confidence of David. That's an 8:28 victory.

2. This experience pushed me to work closer to where I lived. In doing so, I reconnected with my own community and eventually started my own business, the only web design business in Caddo county. That's an 8:28 victory.

3. I learned that doing what is right (not stealing even what I was owed) sometimes pays off in knowing that you resisted the temptation and because of that, you got to watch a brood of vipers slither back to their dens in defeat, possibly the best 8:28 victory thus far.

Big or small, we are called to do right by the Lord, so let's be about it. Life isn't fair, jobs disappoint, people are crazy, and God is abundantly gracious.

Which one will you choose to dwell on?

-Shauna