Eva, The Friend Who Changed My Life Forever

Shauna and Eva, circa. early 2000's

Have you ever had a friend come out of left field and forever changes the way you live your life? I have. I would like to introduce you to Eva from Papua.

I met Eva in May of 1999. We were standing in line at the post office. She was a beautiful, young woman with an even more beautiful smile. I was a wife and new mother to "little Dylan" who was flirting with her from his car carrier. She asked me what time the post office opened. My guess was as wrong as hers, as we were both still waiting well after 8:30am. She spoke in this very interesting accent, "Oh, I have class at 9:30am and I still need to go to the bank. I am afraid I will be late. This is not good." Eva was a foreign exchange student at Southwestern Oklahoma State University and it was clear she had no transportation. I could tell she was a bit distressed and offered her a ride to the bank, then to school. She happily accepted. As I dropped her off on campus, she gave Dylan a wink, and I gave her my number. "Please call anytime. I'm happy to take you anywhere you need to go." As August brought students back to SWOSU from all over the world, I got a phone call.

It was Eva.

"ShawnNAHhhh, it is EEeevahh." I don't know if you can hear it the way I hear it, but if you say it out loud with a big smile on your face, that is how she sounded each time she called.

"Eva! I 'm so glad to hear from you! Do you need a ride? I am happy to come get you."

And with tears in her voice, she said, "Oh Shauna, thank you, but actually... I just need a friend. Would you mind spending time with me?"

I have never had someone come right out and ask me to be their friend. Unknowing to Eva, I needed a friend too. I immediately responded, "Oh my goodness, yes, Eva, I would love to be your friend." From that day on, Eva was as good a friend as I had ever had. We went places together, shared meals in our homes, and Dylan came to love her like an aunt. Eva was a delight. She was intelligent, funny and God-fearing. We enjoyed a lot of time together, so I thought I knew her pretty well. It was in my first visit to her apartment where I learned that I knew nothing of who Eva really was, and that was a lesson that would change the course of my life forever.

Eva was proud of her little apartment. It was a two-bedroom, fully furnished apartment located close to campus. I've been in a lot of college apartments but this one, well, this one looked just like every other apartment, except Eva kept hers much tidier. The landlord hadn't changed the carpet in years, the coffee table was broken but usable, and all the furniture was second-hand at best. She showed me her room and was most impressed by how much space she had in her closet. When she opened one side of the closet doors, it was huge but only because it was completely empty. When she opened the other side, it was completely empty too except for a handful of tops on hangers, a small stack of skirts folded on the shelf, a few pairs of pants, and a few pairs of shoes on the floor.

I said, "Eva, are these all the clothes you own?"

She smiled so contently and said, "Yes."

I told her that I would take her shopping, having no clue how rude that might sound, just certain it was a good solution. Eva, with her very gracious way, smiled so kindly and said, "Oh Shauna, God provides everything I need. He provides me this wonderful apartment, an education in America and He provides me these clothes. I am so happy."

I was astonished at her level of contentment, her faith in the Lord, and the peace she held in her heart. She was telling me the truth. I had never known someone so happy with so little. I grew up in a life where poor people had just as much 'stuff' as rich people, it just looked different. Too many old magazines piled in a hallway, too many half-used lotion bottles in a cabinet, too many t-shirts sitting in a drawer. In comparing her tidy closet to mine, my closet was stuffed with clothes that I don't wear, shoes that don't fit, jeans that are out of style. Beyond the closet was my purse that had so much stuff in it that it thudded when it hit the floor. My car had napkins and ketchup packets overflowing. My whole life of excess flashed before my eyes! I had to go home and evaluate what was happening to me.

I immediately took inventory. I had an excess of kitchen containers without lids, ragged bathroom towels overflowing the cabinet, blankets and sheets stuffed in the tops of closets, home decor under the bed, art supplies everywhere, the list just never ended and, frankly, it was a bit overwhelming. I kept wondering which one of us had the better perspective on life, me or Eva, and it was becoming clear that it was not me. My life took a drastic shift that no one saw coming, not even my family.

There was no such thing as a Minimalist in the early 2000's, but I guess that's what I became. Our whole family was minimizing the unnecessary and, boy, did it feel good. We started by giving away clothes, toys, and blankets. Then we moved to the kitchen, storage closets and bathrooms. The trash became a vessel of freedom. No more holding on to a dab of shampoo, "use it within the next few days or to the trash it goes." That rule went for everything in a bottle. Old towels went to the shed or to a donation box. Anyone who could use it, got it. Everything got easier to give away when I saw my keeping unnecessary things was withholding a blessing from someone who needed it. Cabinets were clear. Towels were folded with room to stay stacked. Once every room and car had been addressed, I turned my focus to the real challenge. That one item that no woman wants to address: her purse. I followed Eva's lead and chose a crossbody bag so that my hands were free and my money was safe while shopping. It was a huge shift from the beastly over-the-shoulder bag that I was used to lugging around, but with several weeks of training, the transition was made and the final leg of freedom was mine.

Eva brought me to the realization that God provides everything I need. I've never forgotten that. My 5 year process of 'Less is More' taught me another thing: holding on to stuff I don't need could be a silent selfishness that keeps it from someone who does. Since those days, a lot has changed for both Eva and me, but our lives of simple living has remained.

Almost 30 years has passed between the time I met Eva and today. She is still dear to my heart. After all of her education in technology and all of her travels across the world, Eva chose the simpler life once again. She moved back to Papua, her home country that she loves so much. She enjoys highlighting her beautiful country of Papua, talking about hair and skin care and introducing you to her family and her culture. If you would like to meet the friend that changed my life forever, please give her YouTube Channel a follow and you too will see why I find her to be such a delight. https://www.youtube.com/@EvaPapua

I love to tell stories about those who impact my life in such beautiful and unexpected ways.

May God bless you richly today.

-Shauna

Photo Credit: Me, Shauna. These photos are taped inside one of my very first Study Bible and kept it in my hope chest. Maybe one day my "little Dylan" will share it with his little ones and they, too, can meet the people who changed their grandma's life.